Fall is upon me. I mean, it’s upon all of us, or at least those in my hemisphere, but..this is about me right now. And fall is upon me.
I never gave that much thought to fall, but then I had this boyfriend in college who was all about it. About the changing leaves and folky, Autumn-y tunes. He called it Autumn, not Fall. Anyway, since 2008, I’ve taken more notice of Fall.
I did grow up in Lubbock, where Fall didn’t mean much more than football season. There was no pumpkin syrup at coffee shops. There aren’t enough trees around to notice any changing colors. And I didn’t listen to anything outside of Coldplay, ever, so I didn’t understand the concept of good seasonal music.
Anyway, in the last few days Austin has taken on a very distinct Autumn feeling. The air smells different. It’s not physically painful to step outside. I can actually wear pants. PANTS!
I’ve been so eagerly anticipating all of this, and this last Saturday..it came. I walked outside after work and I felt it. And instead of a rush of happiness, I kinda wanted to crawl in bed and cry.
I met up with a friend for a beer, and she said, “It smells like memories outside.”
She nailed it. I think that with each new season, as it comes upon us, many of us feel a nostalgia..or something of the sort.
When I walked out of work Saturday, all the memories of Fall 2012 came rushing over me. It was…not the best of times. Adjusting back to life back in Austin after time in the hospital and a month or two on bed rest. Processing my quick departure from flight attending and life in New York. A real, ugly, heart-wrenching breakup. Trying to figure out where to go from there. It was a hard and a lonely time..but like all tough times, it has only served to strengthen and refine me.
I needed a night to be really sad and to feel really weird about the changing season, but now I’m sitting outside. Wearing PANTS. Drinking HOT coffee. Thunderbird is playing folky Amos Lee tunes.
I don’t even love Amos Lee, but music just sounds better in the fall. I drive with my windows down and every song I hear sounds like the best song I’ve ever heard.
I’ve been running lately. I’ve always hated running. In 2008 I signed up (and actually ran) a half marathon in hopes that it would teach me to love to run. Nope. Hated it just as much when I crossed the half marathon finish line in Virginia Beach.
But lately, I’ve been loving it. Looking forward to my runs. And this morning, running in 60 degree temps…I could have died happy in that moment.
New seasons. A time to start fresh, a time when you look at everything around you with new and appreciative eyes..I like it.